Hot Mess. My Sweaty Life.

If I melt while writing this, please send someone with a mop. 
My wood floors have enough damage as is. 
Is summer like child birth? 
Is it this bad every year and then we just forget
 how horrible it is by the time the next one comes around? 
Call me crazy (crazy!), 
but this heat seems ridiculously over the top to me and I've had it up to here! 
(Both arms stretched up really high) 
I know some of you like this heat...summertime, overall.
 I, on the other hand, do not.
I dare say, I hate it. I really, really hate it.
I sweat just thinking about stepping outside and when I do, I'm just a literal hot mess.
It's not cute on any level. 
Some people sweat from their underarms and think that's terrible. 
And it might be.
I sweat from my face. No hiding that. 
And I'm gonna tell you something, 
if I hear one more 90 lb girl complain how chilly it is 
because the air is set to 75 degrees, I'm gonna lose it! 
Get a sweater on! 
Stop wearing tank tops and skirts that were meant for 12 year olds! 
Eat a sandwich! 
Grab some hot tea! 
Leave me and my air conditioned sanctuaries alone!!!!!
So, who's got two thumbs and can't wait til Autumn cools her sweaty butt down?
This girl. 
So, it's no wonder that Kim Kardashian's outdoor area is calling to me. 
"Jennifer....come hear the crackle of the fireplace as you sip coffee and Bailey's. 
Grab a blanket and your fuzzy slippers and relax." 
I'll be right over!

Have a perspiration-free day!

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